Well, the challenge was a nice thought. Maybe I’ll try it sometime. I failed, when I put it out there, to take into account that I was in no emotional space to take on a challenge. I wanted to, but having just sent two friends off on a journey to the next plane and transitioning from working full-time to unemployment, I really should have been more forgiving of myself.
But now, here I am! Getting ready to move! Getting ready to spend my days with my children, laughing and learning! Getting ready to keep the house looking GOLDEN! Getting ready to churn out my zombie dolls – I may need to learn how to sew doll clothes, actually, because the churning isn’t happening so fast with the crocheted variety.
Everything’s different – everything. Or will be in about 2 1/2 weeks. I’m excited, but apprehensive – can I really do this? I will, in many ways, be starting over my life. It’s like somehow we were granted a reset button, and what should have been two years ago is happening now.
I have a chance to do this right, to not make the same mistakes that I did over the last two years.
I’m trying to understand the implications of this. Obviously a happier home, and a happier family. But liberation! I know what my role is this time, I know what I need to do, the guesswork is eliminated.
How many people are so lucky?
That luck is intimidating.
So, today, I’m not thinking about it. I’m listening to Bad Religion and keeping myself busy with chores (for myself and the kids), “punk rawk pancakes” (I burned mine quite nicely), packing, games, etc.
At some point, we’ll get out in the sunshine, which is making its first appearance since summer began.
Today is a lovely day, and it’s so nice to be back!